It’s the first Friday in Lent which means all you good Catholic boys at home are laying off the meat today. Good for you. Eternal Salvation through Christ Our Savior comes at a price and a large part of the cost is chalking up 8 days of No Meat each year.
No one said it was easy when your parents baptized you as a baby. In fact it’s quite hard. So with that here’s the unofficial list of the best options to get you through all your meatless Fridays. Some of these are no brainers, some of these are not. Either way, treat this as a cheat sheet to get you through the next couple weeks.
Filet-O-Fish
The godfather of all fish sandwiches. A brief description from McDonalds:
Our fish filet is made with Alaskan Pollock sourced from sustainable fisheries, topped with melty American cheese and creamy tartar sauce, and served on a soft, steamed bun.
This is a big time Dad sandwich and a lot of that has to do with the mindset it takes to enjoy a FoF. You have to really not give a fuck about anything to desire a Filet of Fish and I mean that nicely. That’s why it works so well with dads.
Personally I know a lot of you hate this sandwich without ever having tried it. That’s inexcusable. I know it’s the time of year to give things up but I implore you to take this on.
Double Filet-O-Fish
You can’t put a single on the list without also including the double. A lot of you anti-carb guys out there will find this option extra appealing. Only notable complaint is that they don’t double down on the tartar. Sometimes you need that extra Drip.
Egg Salad Sandwich
My grandmothers loved egg salad sandwich and that’s mostly because they were old ladies. This is very popular in the 65+ crowd. Nice thing is it gives you a chance to go Heavy Mayo and as you get older those opportunities just aren’t available. If you love a whole jar of the good stuff this option is for you:
Cheese Pizza
If we’re being honest this one is getting you thru 6 of your 8 No Meat days. In fact a lot of times you enjoy Lent Fridays for no other reason than crushing some quality Za.
Peanut Butter & Jelly
Death, taxes and Lenten PB&J. In a perfect world my PB&J is a little warm and soggy from sitting in my locker for 4-5 hours.
Quesadilla
There’s nothing sexy here folks. It’s two tortillas and a glob of the good stuff:
Slather that bitch in some Franks or store bought pico de gallo and we are in business my friends.
Pancakes / French Toast
Kind of a poor person move which makes it that much more of a Friday in Lent. Delicious nonetheless.
Fish Fry (local church)
Especially if you’re a horny teenager trying to meet some other horny teenagers.
Spaghetti red sauce (always red sauce) homemade
Another classic poor person move to get you through a big family Friday in Lent. This is being a kid in a big family 101.
Shrimp (Cocktail, mostly)
If you’re fancy maybe shrimp scampi but this is more like your dad just got back from Sam’s Club and had a couple samples when he was in, so now he’s thawing a 5 pound of shrimp that cost $25. It’s the first and last time you eat Shrimp cocktail as a family.
Pepper n egg sandwich
This is a big time Italian move which makes it a big time Friday In Lent move. Fiore’s in Ukrainian Village has some bomb P&E sammies.
Grilled Cheese / Tomato Soup
1st ballot Hall of Famer. Next.
Sushi
Maybe if you’re from a nice suburb this was in your wheelhouse. Certainly not what I was eating as a kid but I feel like things have changed drastically from the 90’s. Either way now as an adult this becomes a much more attractive option because that’s life guys. Sushi’s not going anywhere.
Mac and Cheese
All shapes and sizes this one hits for me big.
Tuna Blasts
From my Dad: “Canned tuna, mayo and diced sweet pickles on a toasted english muffin topped with a slice of Kraft or Velveeta (your call) and then blasted in a microwave for 30-45 seconds depending on your wattage.”
Long John Silver
Aye Aye captain. What a place to finish. I think there’s like 15 locations left nationally but if you find one, immediately stop and get yourself a basket of whatever they’re serving. 4 hours later your colon will be clean as a whistle.
